Tag: Woman’s Voice

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Morons and A Fine Unpaid Job

5 Minute Read:

If you get too many men alone and leave us alone for a while, we kind of become morons.  —Andrew Yang, Businessman and 2020 Presidential Candidate

That’s a glib statement, with or without context. Yang can get away with saying it, but I can’t without sounding like a misandrist—which I’m not. My agreement with the sentiment is limited to this: there’s nothing at all wrong with the male perspective in the broad national discourse, but it needs to be tempered by other perspectives. That’s a fancy way of saying the U.S. could do with a bit* more diversity in the halls of power, and I know I’ve probably said so before on this blog.

Anyway, what Yang is saying is that too many guys in power for too long eventually leads to… well, what we have here in the U.S. I’ll drop the term; inequality. And I’ll say it out loud; because the (mostly) men in charge have become moronic by world standards, and are holding us back from being a truly great nation.

[W]e can […] start recognizing the work that women in particular do in our families and communities every day.
—Andrew Yang

You can check out the video of this interview here, and/or read the transcript. Yang was explaining the advantage of his UBI (Universal Basic Income) and arguing for including the work that mostly women do at home —caregiving, child-rearing, home maintenance, family finance, etc.—into the GDP. Kids who would flourish with parents whose labor is valued are the next generation of small business owners, teachers, farmers, drivers, retailers, medical professionals, and on and on—basically the backbone of America.

A Couple Questions

Am I paranoid if I entertain a loose theory that the last fifty years of wage stagnation is petty revenge for women entering and staying in the workforce? Shouldn’t women technically get paid more not less than men in the same positions since we mostly do more of the domestic busywork?

Of the hetero couples you know, how many of them really share the chores and domestic tasks equally, assuming they’re being candid about it?  I know it can be lopsided in gay couples too, but that’s a different conversation. I’m talking about straights as a way of highlighting those pesky traditional gender roles on this issue. If things are starting to even out and a lot of your straight friends share the chores, then our work here is done. *claps hands together in an up and down sweep But as long as there is still a disproportionate amount of gals coming home from work and starting second shift on dishes, laundry, and vacuuming, etc., we need to acknowledge the value of that labor, because somebody has to do it or it doesn’t get done. Somebody is doing it. Every. Day.

Is Yang’s UBI the answer? Maybe. It could help. Should we pay attention to what we’re teaching our little boys? Oh yes. Do we need to talk to our kids about the media messages they’re exposed to? Oh hell yes. It seems there are a lot of ways we can recognize the value of women’s contributions to society, and the first thing to do is to discover how badly under-recognized the background labor has been, and still is. Somebody is doing this work and doing a fine job of it. Every. Day.

 

 

 

*quite a bit more, and now

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Women Are Just As Human As Men

3 Minute Read:

Women have long been expected to be the virtuous and diligent ones in society so men could get away with being the adorable delinquents—perpetual boys. We’ve all seen it, the menfolk generously commend the ladies for their hard work and accommodating nature, for keeping everything just so—maybe while a woman is putting away clean dishes and a man is relaxing at the kitchen table puffing a stogie reading the paper. It sounds like a scene from an old movie, but I’ve personally witnessed it. It’s nothing nefarious, this little one-act. It’s even charming and homey, like grandma’s anecdote of men being dramatic and whiny when they get a sniffle, while women ignore aches and pains and work through them. But what are these ideas really saying about our roles?

I’ve been diagnosed with a rare, painful and exhausting disease and have joined a social group for women who suffer from the same. Occasionally members talk about not getting enough support from their spouses, and the in-kind comments are just heartbreaking. Scratching beneath the surface, there’s a pattern of husbands who are obviously impatient with wives whose symptoms make it difficult for them to function daily at even the most basic household tasks—not that keeping a home is easy work.

The husbands in this group reportedly snap or snipe at wives or girlfriends who may be trying to hang on to a job and/or raise kids while managing their pain, inflammation, and physical limitations from an incurable illness. The message over and over seems to echo, “You’re supposed to be taking care of me, dammit!” or “Gawd, I’m so tired of your disease!” The complaints aren’t always so pointed, but the sentiment is unmistakable.

Women are just as human as men, and our bodies can fail us.

I believe things are changing. Even as I write about the perniciousness of these tropes, I’m aware that they invoke a bygone era, episodes of I Love Lucy, poodle skirts and all that. I believe things are changing. Even so, I still think it bears pointing out wherever it pops up that there’s no such thing as ‘women’s work.’ The work that women do off the timeclock is the labor that builds a society.

Women are not paragons of virtue. We are not de-facto caretakers or happy housemaids (except when we want to be). We’re just as human as men, and we and our bodies—bones, blood, organs, muscles and joints—can fail. We can’t perpetually be the adults in the room, any more than society can continue to be mostly run by the adorable delinquents.